Marsh mallows

This weekend I found that marsh mallows were just as much fun to throw into peoples mouths as chocolate buttons. I drank a strange but potent concoction which got me very drunk (when I find out what was in it I shall tell you). I went to Atlantic Village where I spent hours looking at womens underwear. I helped to write 'Pebble Ho!' in pebbles on the beach at Westward Ho!. I played Poker. And I also watched the Neverending story.

Scones

Yesterday, after I had been kayaking, playing badminton, and getting whipped with seaweed by Alex Birt, I had some scones. Here they are seconds before a fly threatened to land on them and everyone grabbed and ate them. I always say scone not scon. Would like to find out what the proper devonshire way of saying it is.

'Plub' and Oldboy

A mixed couple of days. some really good bits and really rubbish bits. Went to the 'Plub' again in South Molton which is always amusing although the their carpet is a bit disorientating. Watched one of my wierd Asian dvds with Sarah. Oldboy by Park Chan Wook, which is a very good film and i think she liked it. I was a little concerned by her lack of disgust she showed to the live octopus eating scene, but as she comes from North Devon so expect that kind of thing. One of the rubbish things was getting a parking ticket. I had the feeling it was one of those days when everything just goes disastrously wrong, and feared with my stupid/dangerous driving that i would die on the motorway coming back, but I didnt.

some more cool songs i am listening to

bonkers by dizzee rascal
lets talk about it by white denim
Angela by Jarvis Cocker
Woodfriend by miles benjamin Anthony Robinson
new in town by little boots
we made you by eminem
cake by race horses

and of course boom boom pow by the black eyed peas which is both good and annoying at the same time. wish i could find out the reason they are treading on leprechauns though. its bugging me just as much as when I was trying to work out what a geep was.

Showing Heather some of Torbay

My friend Heather was in Torbay, so to entertain her I showed her a couple of places. Started with Cockington where she got to look at the organic garden and buy some lip balm. Then Brixham where I ate what was described to us as basically a sausage but with fish (urgh). And later on some actual fish and chips. This picture has the Golden Hind in the background. We then went up to Berry head and looked at some seabirds.

throwing chocolate buttons

Heres a list of things I did this weekend:

I watched Coronation street.
I ate sausages from a barbeque.
I went to the beach at Croyde and went swimming in the surf.
I went to a wierd hybrid between a nightclub and a traditional pub.
I slept in a bed with a woman without being groped for possibly the first time.
I rediscovered the delights of fake cheese.
I was relieved to find I was not the only person who can't touch their toes.
I found out how birds have sex.
I had chocolate buttons thrown into my mouth.
I watched 80's childrens cartoons on youtube.
I drank apple sours.
I found you can complete an A-Z of names for womens breasts.
I collected grass.
I had my legs buried in sand.

Yacts in Poole harbour

Here is another example of my awesome photography and photoshop skills. I didn't want to add another picture but ran out of things to write. It was either that or me moving on to examples from my dream diary. Latest dream from last night involved me stealing a blokes pint. Previously me in a room with five girls and them deciding to pour a jug of water over Paris Hilton. I don't actually mind Paris Hilton, I was more concerned with the water seeping through the ceiling into the room below. And before you ask I did check in the morning to see whether i had pissed myself. Do not worry I hadn't.

a painting

Just realised I had not got round to adding any of my paintings. For those of you who were curious and had never seen one this is for you. If you so wish you may purchase this painting from me. If you are a good looking female I am willing to take payment in ways other than money.

Badminton in the garden

Me and my brother playing badminton. I always win of course. My favourite shot is when i hit it long and then do a cheeky little drop shot into the corner. The only time he wins is if he manages to hit me in the forehead. Five minutes after this the shuttle cock went in the bushes and i retired to eat some scones.

moths

James is fed up with being pestered by moths. He has waged a fierce war against them but seems to be losing. He is afraid that by now they have eaten half his clothes and that he will soon be naked. Please bare this in mind if you ever see James in the local newspaper for exposing himself in public.

James is also counting the cost of not sunbathing and shaving at the right times. Everytime he has been sunbathing he has also been bearded, giving the effect now of the top half of his face being brown the bottom white. To compound this he has just found the twenty pound note he miss placed last week when off out somewhere, under his shaver. damn.

James is also now regretting writting this entry in third person. as half way through it started sounding a little strange. He or I must be getting much too obsessed with this blog thing.

stratego the best game ever invented

This is me beating my brother at stratego. If you have never played this game before I pity you. I also urge you not to think the new crappy four player stratego is anything like the original. its not. I have played it twice and wanted to kill those playing with me both times. They have tried to jazz it up to apeal to the kids and totally ruined it. You can gain some idea of the genius of the original from this picture, as my brother desperately tries to save himself from losing by consulting the instructions. Didn't work for him, i beat him about a minute later. Go James!

Me kayaking in Torbay

My ambition is to leave the safe confines of Torbay this year and kayak around the coast. Hopefully with dolphins jumping along side me. Stopping occaisonally on deserted beaches to roast marsh mallows. Last year I kayaked around Thatcher rock, which was a little bit dodgy as I only had an inflatable kayak then. After only a few metres it would start going around in circles let alone when the winds and currents got hold of you. Most of the time the water is clear and you can look down and see starfish. Your ass gets a bit wet but its worth it.

Five tracks I've been listening to recently on spotify

Carnies by Martina Topley Bird

Extinction by The Soft Pack

Cannonball by The Breeders

Sick Muse by Metric

Not Fair by Lilly Allen (this grew on me, i love her lyrics they are so unusual and brave).

voting/swimming/parking space/pigeon

Just voted. Don't know what it was for though. Won't tell you who i voted for except that it was not the BNP or UKIP. Then I walked down the ERC to go swimming but was told they close early now so ended up going in the sea. It was actually quite warm, and the beach at Torquay is much nicer since they built the bridge on Torquay harbour and stopped the raw sewge that used to be pumped into it. No more wading through toilet paper and sanitary towels these days.

Last week was annoying. Manchester United lost when I knew they could have played better and I lost my parking space. Two major events, as i care and know way too much about football than is healthy, and love my parking space so much i moan constantly at people if they make me drive anywhere.

Earlier this week 'my' cat killed a wood pigeon which i still have yet to build up the courage to bury in garden. last week he killed my pet Robin. I think it is now true to say that i have trained a killer :(

view over Shiphay from my Mum and Dads bedroom

No blog is quite complete i feel without some random sunset photo. How good is this one? Took it the other day. If you stare into the darkness you can almost see the bungalo across the road.

7 things you didnt want to know about James

1. During my driving test I stopped at a traffic light on green. And was later told: ‘Red is for stop, Green is for go.’

2. I was allergic to chocolate as a kid. I had to eat carob.

3. I smashed the light in my mums lounge whilst playing with a Lightsabre. Though I maintain this was not my fault.

4. I like egg custard tarts.

5. When I was a kid I got a piece of sponge stuck up my nose and had to be taken to hospital to have it removed.

6. I used to collect fruit stickers.

7. I fell in Loch Lomond. I had jumped onto some rocks in the daytime sober. I thought I could repeat it at night, drunk. I couldn’t.

shoes

here is a photo of a pair of shoes. my shoes infact. not sure why i like this picture, maybe there is just something about a worn old pair of shoes that appeals to people. they may be battered and broken, but have lived and have tales to tell. This pair definately do. There is also something a little bit disqiueting about an empty pair of shoes. where is their owner? why has he abandoned them? god i feel all emotional now, i think i will go get them now and put them on. perhaps hug them a bit first. i love my shoes.